rotect the embarrased
this log was taken by the guy who played the FBI guy and later on
Gail Thackery

#2600 buffer saved on Mon Jul 10 02:30:02 1995
*** Now talking in #2600
<xxxx1> you liar
<xxxx1> i am mitnick
<xxxxx2> haha
<xxxxxx3> fuck you
<xxxxxx3> i'm mitnick
<xxxxxx3> heh
<xxxxxx3> lame
<xxxx1> no way
> you all lie
<xxxx0> im tsutomu
*** xxxx1 is now known as Mitnick
<xxxx0> so there
> i am the true mitnick
<Mitnick> see
*** xxxxxx3 is now known as Kevin
*** xxxx0 is now known as Tsutomu
*** Kevin is now known as Teklord
<Tsutomu> oh wait, we need more actors
<Tsutomu> xxxxx2, you be Markoff
<Mitnick> these cool jailers brought me a thinkpad
<xxxxx2> okay
> ok lets reinact his bust
<Mitnick> i made a cellular phone out of the sink
<Tsutomu> ok
<Tsutomu> wait
<Tsutomu> there are 2 kevins
<Tsutomu> one has to go
*** condor is now known as FBI
<Tsutomu> ok
> do your think kevin
<Tsutomu> ok i start
<Mitnick> .exec rm 0108.gz
> think = thing
* Tsutomu goes on a SKI PATROL weekend and leaves his
  firewalls up n shit.
<Tsutomu> xxxx2, go into your markoff constume
* Mitnick writes a program to bombard Tsutomu's machine and
  spoof his IP into a friendly one.
* Tsutomu comes back after the office calls, IVE BEEN
  HAXORED
<Mitnick> h0h0
* Tsutomu calls the FBI
> Back in the FBI office "Well BOB, [dips his doughnut in
  his coffee] we really should go after this hacker guy..."
* Mitnick breaks into Netcom.
> may I help you
<Tsutomu> yeah, lemme bring along my sun laptop with 1.6
   gigs of HD space
<Tsutomu> oh oops
<Mitnick> .exec ncftp ftp.netcom.com:/pub/ccs/0108.gz
<Tsutomu> some krad haqor broke into my impenetrable site on
   new years
<Tsutomu> or was it christmas
> Tsutomu, ok let me contact my friend in the FCC...
<Tsutomu> i want his ass!
> ok we have a truck roaming the US looking for this guy and
  his cell
* Mitnick hides in New Jersey.
* Tsutomu begins his QUEST TO FOIL THE WILY HACKER
* Tsutomu begins his QUEST TO FOIL THE WILY HACKER with the
  FBI
<Mitnick> dammit, i shouldn't have said that.
<Mitnick> now they know where i am!
<Tsutomu> its raleigh, not nj!
*** Markoff is now known as Candy_
<Candy_> I HAQQ WANTED BIN
<Tsutomu> bwahahahaha
<Tsutomu> candy, youre not in this movie
> ah Tsutomu we have found a signal in New Jersey
<Candy_> I GONG EMALE EPTER B HE BAN YA G00D
<Candy_> I NOT CARE
<Candy_> I WANTED BIN ON FILM
<Candy_> h0h0h0h0 I FUNNY
<Candy_> ???????????????
> damn! he is good, turns out to be the mayors phone!
<CyberTike> holy shit
<Tsutomu> hey markoff, come with me, since you know which
   food store kevin wil be in
<Mitnick> you will never stop me
<Mitnick> my technique is the best
*** Candy_ is now known as Markoff
* Markoff has a sex change operation
* Mitnick shoves 3 or 4 Twinkies in his mouth.
* FBI reaches for another doughnut
* Mitnick goes for a cheeseburger.
* Tsutomu plays with his Sun Laptop
<Mitnick> hey tsutomu, have you seen hotjava?
<Tsutomu> no, whats that
<Tsutomu> lets get back to the movie
<Mitnick> it's a really cool web browser
<Mitnick> ok
* Mitnick is hacking and eating
* Tsutomu sits close to his friend Markoff
* Mitnick gets root on White Sands Missile Base
* FBI orders his men to surrond a suspicious apartment
  complex
<Mitnick> (creative liberty)
* Mitnick eats another cheeseburger.
* Tsutomu waits in the car with Markoff..you know, markoff
  is pretty fit for his age
<Mitnick> boy, i want a slurpee
*** FBI is now known as FCC
> we found him
*** FCC is now known as FBI
* Mitnick starts to leave his apartment.
<Tsutomu> great!
> ok we are moving in!
* FBI slips on a twinkie wrapper...
<Tsutomu> mitnick, go back, yo forgot your money or
   something
> ok hes ours
<Mitnick> hey, this looks like an fbi raid
* Markoff whacks off
<Tsutomu> mitnick, youre not playing along right
<Mitnick> you can't tell me i am not right
<Mitnick> my technique is the best
* FBI Knock
* FBI Knick
<Mitnick> hey, is that someone at my door?
* Markoff whacks off some more.
<Mitnick> YES!!!
<Mitnick> PIZZA!!!
* Mitnick goes to the door and opens it.
<Mitnick> Hey, this isn't pizza.
* Markoff whacks off till it falls off
<Tsutomu> WE GOT YOU NOW!?!? YOU WILY HACKER!
> "On the ground!!" " We have you!!!"
<Mitnick> n0
<Mitnick> n0!!!
* Markoff whacks off with the thing that fell off
* FBI whispers something damn he looks like a pear
<Mitnick> uh, the real mitnick just left
<Mitnick> i am a clone
> what huh!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
<Mitnick> i will go get him
<Mitnick> so let me go and i'll get him for you
* FBI grabs mitnick
> "Not this time"
<Mitnick> agh
* Markoff sews it back on and whacks off some more
*** Mitnick is now known as Cliff
* Tsutomu applauds the FBIs mediocre performance
<Cliff> Hi, I'm Cliff Stoll.
<Cliff> You may remember me as the author of "The Cuckoo's
   Egg".
<Tsutomu> wait a second
<Cliff> Excellent job, Tsutomu.
<TeWasp> lol
*** Cliff is now known as Mitnick
> Stoll you willy guy, I want to be in your next book
<Mitdork> wassup
<Tsutomu> were doing Kevin Mitnick the movie
<Tsutomu> sit back and relax and sush please
<Tsutomu> ok where were we
<TeWasp> whose we?
<Tsutomu> all the people except oy
<Tsutomu> you
<Mitnick> Hey Tsutomu, I'll get you an appointment with
   Vidal Sassoon if you get me the source to Solaris.
> mitnick is cuffed
> ok is he?????
<everlast> tsutomu: yo.. what is all this mitnick stuff?  
   Someone you guyz know get busted and yer re-enacting it?
<Mitdork> mitnick is getting raped by big bubba
* Markoff fixes the stiching and continues to whack off
<Tsutomu> mitnick, not today buster!
<Tsutomu> everlast, yes our friend kevin got busted
<Mitnick> ok, then show me the tattoo on your butt
* FBI drops a dougnut
* FBI dusts off the doughnut
<everlast> tsumotu: fer what?  hacking netcom?
* Tsutomu plays with his sun some more
* FBI eats the Bosten Creme
<Mitnick> hey tsutomu, can i see that thing?
* Tsutomu shows Mitnick the .WAV file of his voice that was
  left on the voice mail
<Tsutomu> no way, this is a sekret cray laptop, go away
* Mitnick knows that Tsutomu was lying.
* Markoff continues to whack off
<Mitnick> It was an .AU file.
* Markoff whacks off some more
* Mitnick sees Tsutomu cracking sun.com's password file.
<Tsutomu> hey, i made it a .WAV file too, for al thos emac
   users
*** FBI is now known as press
* Markoff whacks off some more.
<Tsutomu> ok markoff, now you gotta be the prosecutor
<Mitnick> Tsutomu, could you teach me to write shell
   scripts?
* press the press pushes past the doorway
*** Markoff is now known as Prosecuto
> "What is going on here?"
*** Prosecuto is now known as whackingo
*** whackingo is now known as `\|
<Tsutomu> whackguy! stop that
*** `\| is now known as This
* This says: you suck
* press scribbles something on his notepad, EVIL HACKER
  BUSTED, USED 20,000 CREDIT CARD NUMBRES!"
<Mitnick> I respect your skills, Tsutomu.
<Mitnick> I G0TZ N3TC0M
<Mitnick> AND I HAVE A PIR8 WIND0WS 95 BETA
<Tsutomu> bah, i caught you easily, you feebly little haxor
<Mitnick> shut up, dumbass
<Tsutomu> your attack was mediockre
*** Mitnick is now known as VB|VlqSlx
<VB|VlqSlx> nA_i}QkrQ
*** VB|VlqSlx is now known as Beavis_
<Beavis_> i'll kick your ass
<Tsutomu> c'mon guys, we gotta play this til he get sthe 8
   month sentance
*** Beavis_ is now known as Mitnick
*** This is now known as Markoff
* Markoff whacks off
* press press keeps scribbling, EVIL HAQ, EVIL HAQ, EVIL HAQ
<Mitnick> I'll be back, JOO-TOMU!
*** xxxxxx3 is now known as Roscoe
<Tsutomu> prosecutor
<Roscoe> high
<Mitnick> Next time, Gadget.
*** press is now known as FBI
<Mitnick> NEXT TIME!!!!
<Tsutomu> mitnick, and ill be there to grab your ass!
<Mitnick> suck my dick, you jap
* Markoff whacks off some more
> ok Mr. Mitnick, to the car....
<TeWasp> psssst.. ryan is here
<Roscoe> TO THE BATMOBILE MITNICK
<Tsutomu> mitnick, ok
<Mitnick> i would fight except i'm really out of shape
<Mitnick> TO THE HACKMOBILE
<Roscoe> HACKMOBILE$!#
<Dip__> mitnik dont you have to deal with that problem in
   jail they call anal rap?????
*** Roscoe is now known as Sthunder
* Sthunder fucks markoff
<Dip__> rape?
* PaNaMaX is ryan <G>
* Mitnick gets head from SThunder.
<Tsutomu> roscoe, wanna do a 3way with me and
   markoff^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H wanna be in my and markoffs
   book?
* FBI looks the other way as Mitnick is brutally raped
* Sthunder doesn't care panamax
<Sthunder> Oh
<everlast> if anyone has any info on hacking unix could they
   please gimme a pointer or 2.
<Sthunder> yer so  tastey
<Mitnick> take that, baby
<Sthunder> <-- susan thunder
* Sthunder will be at defcon
* Sthunder loves you all
*** Mitnick sets topic to "The Roscoe Gang(bang)"
<everlast> or someone gimme an FTP site where I could pick
   up some text files.
<Dip__> mitnick takes it in the ass from big bob
> hey susan eye want sum of day /\o/\
* Mitnick bends Sthunder over and shoves a VT220 up her ass.
> day == dat
<Tsutomu> bwahahahaha
<Dip__> mitnick should be known as Oneal.
<Sthunder> eye love feds w/ big glasses
<Sthunder> I love that ear peice too
* Markoff whacks off
<Tsutomu> hey susan, look at my sparc, its got 500 mips
* Mitnick whacks Markoff off.
<Sthunder> OHH SPARC
* Sthunder cums
* FBI takes off his mask only to reveal he is really Gail
  Thackey!
*** FBI is now known as Thackery
* TeWasp wacks mitnick on the head with thinkpad and steals
  his cell
<Sthunder> *rofl*
<Tsutomu> whos gail thackery?
<Markoff> your mom
<Mitnick> Hey Susan, check out this YMP2 I carded with a
   Netcom user's card.
<Sthunder> yer soo eleet mitnick
<Sthunder> oh
<Tsutomu> im eliter!
<Mitnick> yeah
<Sthunder> i'm using modern languag
<Tsutomu> look this way susan baby
<Mitnick> Damn, I'm smooth.
* Markoff whacks off
* Dip__ shoves an imaginary laptop up mitnicks ass because
  if he had a sys it wouldnt be running
> starts to call the secret service, OPeration RapeDevil 95
*** holybeast (d91-hmi@dront.nada.kth.se) has joined #2600
<Tsutomu> 'know, this is really pathetic
* Markoff whacks off
*** Dip__ (irc@146.176.15.170) has left #2600
* Mitnick puts a sendmail patch over Dip's asshole, but the
  dick keeps going in.
<holybeast> I need a good 4 channel-trunc dialer
* Sthunder thinks markoff only knows how to whackoff
<Tsutomu> bwahahahahaha
<Sthunder> But he doesit so good
> haahahhahaah
* Sthunder fucks raycer
* Mitnick whacks off Markoff.
<Sthunder> mitnick hax my pussy please
* Tsutomu goes on SKI PATROL, the porn flic
* raycer sticks his pickle in sthunders ass
<Markoff> Debbie Does Dallas
* Sthunder bites the pickle
* Mitnick gets root on Sthunder's love mound
* Mitnick pulls out his sysLOG
*** Sthunder sets topic to "Mitnick gets root on Sthunder's
love mound"
*** PhiberOpt (~dubie@152.168.90.230) has joined #2600
* Thackery no but I am really Kevin Poulsen!
<Sthunder> oh phiber
*** Thackery is now known as Poulsen
<Sthunder> mark
<Sthunder> I love you
<Mitnick> hey s00zan
*** raycer is now known as cloned
*** cloned was kicked from #2600 by spyder (=NickFlood=)
<Mitnick> check out my netcom cc database
<Sthunder> 0h wow
<Sthunder> it's 3lit3
<Sthunder> h0w d0  y0u d0 it?
<Mitnick> i have mflash.c in my home directory
<cloned> spyder: I DIDN'T NICKFLOOD!
<Mitnick> i flashed all the netcom sysadmins and snuck past
   their desks and grabbed the file
<Sthunder> Full Name            :  Ryan, Quinn, Smith
<Sthunder> Billing Address      :  5 Mason Ave.
<Sthunder> Billing CSZ          :  Amsterdam, NY 12010 4
<Sthunder> Physical Address     :  5 Mason Ave.
<Sthunder> Physical CSZ         :  MAmsterdam, NY 12010 4
<Sthunder> County               :  Montgomery
<Sthunder> Daytime Phone        :  518-842-0705
<Sthunder> Evening Phone        :  518-842-0705
<Sthunder> Fax Phone            :  518-842-0705
<Sthunder> Date of Birth        :  01/18/81
<Sthunder> Password             :  killmac
<Sthunder> Method               :  MASTERCARD
<Sthunder> Card Number          :  543283100100
<Sthunder> Exp. Date            :  09/96
<Sthunder> Account Type         :  PLUS10
<Sthunder> that's real info too
<Sthunder> will ewe fuck me now?
* Poulsen begins to load up his terminal ...
* Mitnick fux Sthunder for the leet CC.
<Sthunder> I have plenty more where that came from
* Markoff chops off Poulsen's other leg
<Tsutomu> did anyone log this?
<Markoff> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
<Markoff> MUAHAHAHAHHAH
* cloned clones mitnicks cloned cellphones and uses
  Clinton's account
<Tsutomu> we shoulda logged this
<Mitnick> someone logged this, right?
<Tsutomu> and put it in the next phrack
<Sthunder> oh
<Sthunder> btw.
<Mitnick> heh
<Sthunder> that was real CC
<cloned> shit. I JUST now turned on my log.
<Tsutomu> xxxx2 did u?
<Markoff> nope
<Tsutomu> damn
* Poulsen hobbles around, and manages to find his way into a
  Bell depot.. [takes a quick snapshot of course]
<Tsutomu> !
<Mitnick> u lamers
<Tsutomu> anyone know how to use scrollback in screen?
<Markoff> ctrl-alt-del
<Sthunder> After I dumped the CC you didn't grab it?
<Tsutomu> HAHHAHA
<Sthunder> lamres.
<Sthunder> lamers.
<Tsutomu> now i gotta go read the damn man page
<Mitnick> hey, let's call the nsa tomorrow and tell them we
   will give them codes for the transcript
<Sthunder> PAHAHAHA
<Tsutomu> oh sure
<Sthunder> you know.
* cloned finds a lone payphone and uses his trusty red-box
  to prankcall tsutomu
<Sthunder> susan is gonna be at defcon
<Tsutomu> yah we get to see her 6'4skinny ass
> yea talking about social engineering
<cloned> defcon roqz
<Sthunder> uh
<Mitnick> is she gonna give out CC's there and get fuxored
   by mitnick when he bendz her over the podium?
* Markoff whacks off some more
<Sthunder> <-- just gave out a fucking CC and you didn't log
   it morron
* cloned social engineers Poulsen's mom and gets her in bed.
* Mitnick socially engineers his penis into an erection.
* cloned whacks Markoff some more
> logs onto COSMOS and reroutes cloned to tsutomu
*** Mitnick is now known as Lenny
* Sthunder phucks markoff
<Lenny> mitnick made me do it, man
<Markoff> lenny?
<Sthunder> Ididn't even read half of cyberpunk
<Sthunder> heh
<Tsutomu> lenny is the guy that sold out mitnick
<Lenny> i will narq him for a copy of vms
<Sthunder> oh
* cloned get SO CLONED, all he can think of is getting some
  fried chicken.
<Sthunder> it's ficus
<Tsutomu> with the blue duffel bag, he scratched his head
* Sthunder fucks chron
* Markoff whacks lenny upside the fro
<Chron> get off me bitch
> Cyberpunk is ok, "Susan was found on her knees in the
  men's bathroom..."
<Lenny> "You know that feeling where you feel like you're
   about to get arrested?"
*** Markoff is now known as Candy_
<Candy_> I NOT TAKED THIS SHIT BIOTCH
<Lenny> "Get ready."
<Candy_> I GONG CALL FEDS
<Candy_> THEY L0CK YA UP G00D
* cloned kicks Candy_ in the nuts.
*** Chron is now known as Chronic
<Candy_> I FEMALE
<Candy_> I GONG CUM KIQQ YA ASS
* cloned knows.
<Lenny> I G0NG CALL EP TREB HE CALL FED
* Poulsen kicks Candy_ in the nutz
* cloned has a thing for kicking chicks in the nuts
<Lenny> fuck
*** Lenny is now known as ficus
* ficus has to me at work at 10am tomorrow.
> I hope someone captured the recreation...
<teklord> heh
<Tsutomu> no they didnt
<Tsutomu> were dorks, we forgot
<cloned> got most of that
<teklord> you guys actually got something out of that "play"
   and didn't log it.
<Tsutomu> yah but u mised the beginning before markoff
   started wacking off
<xxxxx2> and then it fell off
<Tsutomu> damndamndamn
<Tsutomu> from now on, im gonna log everyhing to /tmp
<xxxxx2> and then he still whacked off
* cloned ski's between BitBandit and Tsutomu
> and ten some
<xxxxx2> and then he sewed back on and continued to whack
   off
<Tsutomu> yeah
<Tsutomu> and then mitnick got into it
<Tsutomu> wierd shit
> hahahahaha
<Tsutomu> i wonder what the fbi guys monitoring this channel
   are thinking
*** schizoid sets mode: +o teklord
*** Phobet sets mode: +o teklord
<Tsutomu> theyre prolly like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
<cloned> You don't have to have a dick to whack off.  You
   can always whack off yer neighber
<xxxxxx3> "won't you be my neihgbor"
<Tsutomu> no
End of #2600 buffer   Mon Jul 10 02:30:02 1995

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biography: Kevin_David_Mitnick_biography.pdf